Next phase, one down..

The doctor's visit and the first round of the second treatment went as well as it could. I had a lot of anxiety and nerves walking into the infusion room for the first time at NWH.  The environment was completely different than at MGH, where the treatment rooms are private.  NWH is open concept so you are in a room filled with other patients all receiving care.  I wasn't prepared to see the number of people that I became overwhelmed and started to tear up.  I was also scared of the reaction to the new drugs.  I was full of emotions but the nurses were incredibly kind and helped me through the process. During treatment, I sat next to a lady, Vivian, who shared her story.  She said she has metastatic breast cancer and has been going in for herceptin treatment for the past 9 years!  I couldn't believe it but it definitely helped put things into perspective.  

To help pass time at the treatment, I was bored and took a few pics.

My chemo buddy and rock. Smiling and working hard while I'm receiving treatment.  Thank you for adjusting your schedule and for always being there for me and the kids. We love you more than you know it! 

Took a selfie to capture what hair I have! I was told after the second treatment, I would lose everything again. :( 

This round of chemo was my toughest yet.  I was warned this round of chemo would hit me hard but didn't realize to what extent.  I was pretty much out of commission starting Friday afternoon until Tuesday.  I was alive but not living.  I thought I would be given a grace period of a few days but the drug hit me almost immediately.  On Friday morning, I did get to see one of my college girlfriends, Sandra, who was visiting from GA and her sister, Nikki.  We had a fun quick visit.  That afternoon, I remember feeling pretty tired and crashing hard until part of Monday when my parents came to visit. I remember sitting up and talking to them but would fade in and out.  I actually don't have many recollections of those 4 days.  I slept a ton. I felt miserable and was very angry.  What did I do to deserve this??!

On Tuesday morning, I started feeling slightly better, except I couldn't shake the nausea and developed a cough.  I slowly feeling like myself again but I couldn't stop thinking about food for the past few days.  All I wanted to do was eat!  I was told that it was the steroids that's making me hungry.  It's so bad because I would dream about food. Unfortunately when I actually ate, I would feel sick.  Fun times!

One of the best news of this past treatment was instead of having to give myself shots, I was able to receive this medication through the use of a pod that stayed on my body for 27 hours after treatment.  The pod injected me with a needle and the medication had a timer that went off after the set time.  It blinked green and eventually turn yellow and then red so I know when it was safe to take off.  The pod is actually nifty and looked like this.  Because the chemo treatment depleted me of white blood cells, this medication provided me with a boost of white blood counts.

It is now Tuesday on the week of chemo and I'm feeling human again!  I'm no longer crazy hungry or nausea.  I'm finally better almost in time for the next treatment!  :(  The nerves will set as Thursday approaches closer.  I'm not looking forward to the next round of treatment but after I get through it, I'll be half way there.  I can't wait for all this to behind me and my family.  It really has been incredibly hard but I choose to focus on my blessings instead.  I continue to be amazed by what a loving, supportive and caring partner I have in Mike. I am forever grateful for my amazing family, close and supportive friends.  I feel incredibly blessed to live and am part of a wonderful community and being cared for by amazing doctors and nurses.

It's weird to me when people say I've been a rock star during this journey.  Honestly, I feel like anyone in my shoes would do the same.  All I'm doing is simply fighting to stay alive.  I don't think I'm doing anything exceptional or out of the ordinary.  I simply choose to focus on the positives.  There will always be people out there who are far worse off than you. This mindset is not easy at times but am quickly reminded when I see these two little rugrats!

Always a silly face edition!