I would fly to listen to this.

Such a great voice...love me some of this



Muddy Waters
By If Birds Could FLY

Music Mondays are BACK Baby

Love this song so much, lets take a moment to love it all together.




I've got this friend
By The Civil Wars

RIP little hermes

I found a little, tiny baby kitten on the job site on Thursday night. He was so young, maybe a few days old. He was wandering around blind and the laborers couldn't care less, the security didn't care at all. I have no idea how people can be so cold inside that they are not willing to help a stranded animal.



I snatched him up in my scarf and spend the next two days trying to clean him, keep him warm and get him to eat. I went out and bought a bottle and baby formula.

I called every animal hospital I could find, but none of them would take him in, none of them would help us. "a dying kitten is not an emergacy".

This morning I woke up to him crying (which he did about every two hours) and he was trying to get out of the box I had made a bed for him in (it didn't have a lid) I thought maybe he was hungry or cold, but then he cuddle down in my hands and became very weak. He wouldn't lift his head and then was having trouble breathing. I tried to give him mouth to mouth, but he just kept stopping breathing. I had to let him go.

I wish that I could have done something more, I hope that he was warm and happy when he died and that he is in a better place. I will never forget the two days I spent with him trying to help him survive and the image of him dying in my arms will haunt me forever. I hope that when he died it didn't hurt and that he knew that he was in someone arms that loved him and wanted him to survive.

Unicorn

When I was 20 I worked as a camp counselor. It was the best job I have ever had because all I had to do was play games with kids all day and make sure no one got hurt. But I also worked with some great people, probably some of the best people I have ever meet. But there was one that from the moment I met him I was in love. From the moment any girl met him they were in love. He was an attractive guy, but his personality was the best. He always made everyone feel special, and always was in a great mood and would make everyone around him in a better mood. That boy became my unicorn, my untouchable creature that I compare all others too (I still compare guys to him). Nothing ever happened between us, though in my mind we had a very happy life together.

One night at an end of year camp party, he was staying on my parents' couch that night. The party was dying down and it was time to head home, I walked around the house looking for him so we could leave and I found him kissing another girl (the weird thing is she looked exactly like me, everyone thought we were sisters). The Unicorn was a little shocked, I was totally shocked, I think the girl was embarrassed. As we walked home he tried to justify the situation (he did have a girlfriend that lived far away at the time), but it wasn't that I actually cared about what happened, I didn't care that he had a girlfriend and that he was kissing this other girl. I was jealous that it wasn't me, but it wasn't because it was her. It was because she was smart enough to do it.

You see, that night the Unicorn told me that "she said she always had a crush on me and all she wanted was a kiss" the first thing that popped into my mind was

"THAT'S IT! That is all it takes, is to ask?!?!?"

I never asked; it seemed inappropriate at that point, plus then I was just copying her. I also didn't want a kiss, I wanted to make him happy, I wanted a life together, I wanted to be with him when he was happy, sad or indifferent. I wanted to grow as 20-somethings together.

That boy, who I am sure is now a great man, pops into my mind every once in a while. I wonder what he has been up to, if he is happy, married with kids. I wonder if his life took him in the direction that he wanted. But mostly I wonder if he ever thinks of me.

Blankness

I have been working way too much lately, I get paid over time so it is not like it is a major issue, all I really want to do is pay off my credit card (buying that new purse last night didn't help, but it was cash).

Any-who. All the girls that I work with went out to dinner then to a club, and although I was at work until 930 so I couldn't have made it to dinner; I was around to go to the club after. The thing that hurts the most is that I was never even invited, they never even thought of me. I hate this feeling, it is like high school all over again. I always felt left out in high school. I was not one of the "popular girls".

I pride myself on trying to make everyone feel included. I am sure I don't succeed all the time. I can actually guarantee that, but I do try.

I really hurt my feelings that they never even thought to invite me out, or to at least just do it even though they knew that I had to work. The worst part is knowing that I literally do not have any friends here.

I think we all forget that the people we work with aren't actually our friends. There are of course exceptions, but on the whole these people do not owe anything to me and I don't owe anything to them... it is only the fact that we are all on the other side of the world in the same boat. They are like some old crew that only sticks together (which also reminds me of the girls that I went to high school with, because they still hand out with each other).

Although I do with that I had kept in touch with a select few of the people I went to high school with, and I do regret losing touch with a lot of the people that I went to college with; I don't regret growing up. I have found friends that I actually have a vast amount of things in common with, that I am excited when they get married or have kids or have a great first date. I care about their jobs and their families and their lives. It isn't just about going out and drinking or what test/assignment you have to get done. It is an actual relationship. I can go to them when I am sad or happy or just need someone to watch a movie with. Isn't that what true friendship is about. This moment of my life is fleeting and although I am having to experience it alone, it is a memory that I am going to have with me forever.

I am surviving in the middle east without anyone to comfort me. Without a shoulder to cry on or anyone to have a drink with (if we could have drink here).

I think I need this moment to realize how important those true friends of mine are and when I get back there will be a bottle of wine to be had.

Cheers to friends

Only girl in the world

I found out today that technically I should not be on the construction site at all. It isn't that I am not allowed, it is that it is not included in the "Interior Designer's" scope of work here.

I love working on site, it is my favorite thing about being an interior designer. I would love to only work on a construction site at all times. There is so much action and it moves at such a quick pace that I don't get bored. I am sure that is why I hate being an interior designer. I never get to be on a construction site all the time any more. Perhaps I should look into taking some sort of construction management coarse online when I am here. Then I can look for those jobs when I get back to Canada.

The hell of a project that I am working on right now ends in 10 days. I am going to be suck at a desk every day after that. I can't handle that. I am going to go back to being bored and home sick again. although I may take advantage of being home before 7pm every night. That novelty will wear off pretty quickly.

I am going to figure out a flight to Jordan first. Then look at online coarse that I can take to help me stay on site more.

Cheers to finding out you are going to be bored again (ugggg)

Gold Faucets

Interior design in the Middle East is not quite as glamorous as one would think it is. If you follow me on twitter you have probably been seeing my updates. It is the only free time I have at the moment.

I don't know how much I am allow to say, but I am going to come right out and say that working on a project for the Royal family is insane. I was only suppose to visit site a few hours a day to make sure things looked good, but now I currently spend 14 hours a day there dealing with bullshit. People keep saying to me "this is how it works in the middle east". I don't understand why it continues to be a cluster fuck when a lot of the higher ups on site staff have worked all around the world; including Canada. Their theory here is "if you throw more people at it then it will finish quicker". How does that work. There is 10 guys per room sweeping. It's a joke and the quality will show that in the end. Even with the schedule that was provided (which was very short in the first place) if they had let the skilled trades do their job in the first place they wouldn't be taking so long because they wouldn't spend half the day fixing problems of the random laborers that they pick up off the street.

Okay, that was my vent for the day :)

Cheers to getting paid over time