50% down! Slowly getting there...

Restless once again at 3:45am so here we go.

I received my second round of the awful AC chemo drug yesterday. I first met with Dr. Comander to talk about the first round. She was incredibly supportive and apologized that I have to go through all this but there is still just not enough evidence for me to forgo this round despite being clinically disease free. She's hoping some years down the road there is enough evidence to skip this phase for future patients, if there is enough data to support it but as of now everyone is still administering the AC drug.  It's a way to dot the i's and cross the t's in my case.

We reviewed protocols after my last round of treatment. I have to take a few drugs a few days after treatment to help with nausea. I wasn't aware I was missing a medication last week so really hoping this week will go a bit better than last. We have an action packed weekend ahead filled with the normal weekend commitments of dance, soccer, etc. in addition to a few special events including a charity fashion show, school's monster bash, Spooktaular outing in the time common and Halloween fun with friends! I am really bummed to be potentially missing out on the fun but hopefully I can make it to some festivities.

While in the infusion room, I had nurse Nikki again. I had her last week and she was great! I miss nurse Ann from MGHW but feel very lucky to be cared for by great, caring providers. I truly think it takes a special someone to be able to work in this profession. They have so much compassionate, empathy, and just incredible people. I also saw nurse Diane today. She previously worked at MGHW but recently joined NHW. It was great to see a familiar face. She came over and to say hi and said Ann told her to look for me! 😊

The treatment process was fairly uneventful. I sat towards the front of the infusion room so wasn't sitting next to anyone. My chemo buddy, Mike, was in and out. He left to take calls. I was left with a book, trashy magazines (thanks Zhanna!), random snacks (I came prepared because you never know when beast mode happens! Unlike MGH, NWH does not have endless snacks.) and my good ole phone.

While administering the Adriamycin drug, since it has to be pushed, I got to catch up with Nikki. We talked about family, mostly the kids, and the planner in me asked questions about what's ahead. I asked her when she thought I would lose my hair again. She said as quickly as this weekend. I'm a bit sad about this because I have grown a little attach to the fuzzy duck hair. 😕 Soon enough, it will return and stay! Nikki also told me I could start herceptin 2-3 weeks after this round of chemo. I assumed I couldn't until I started radiation in January. I was also looking forward to having the month of December 'off' from treatment but in typical Lynne fashion as soon as I heard this, the thought of the quicker we start, the quicker we will be done!! Nikki is going to touch base with Dr. Comander on this. I jokingly said I have December off but my calendar is jammed packed with doctors appointments already. It will be nice to not have treatments so I'll focus on that. I will be meeting with Dr. Tillman, radiology oncologist and again with Dr. Comander. I have to also follow up with Dr. Liao, surgeon, on my left arm. I'm still not sure if I will be needing OT. They were delaying this referral because it would have been too much with chemo.

This past week, I met with Dr. McDonough, my new primary care physician, who specializes with cancer patients and survivors. She came highly recommended and didn't disappoint! Before this cancer diagnosis, I truly had a boring medical history.  I made this quick realization when I was completing the new patient survey form.  I use to fly through them but now I actually have information to include.  I also have more doctors than on my hand!!

Dr. Mc.Donough and I spent a lot of time talking about me. It's hard to articulate but I'm constantly scared yet remain forever hopeful. I heard the great news from the pathological results several time and by many doctors but I continue to worry what if something was missed. I probably really need to stop reading blogs of random strangers! They are a source of inspiration, yet plant random seeds in my head of the worse! How can I truly know I'm disease free? I think anyone who has gone through this can relate. I don't think I'll ever be the same. I scan my body everyday to make sure I'm not missing something. I develop a cough, I worry! I know all this is my new reality. It will take me some time. One the flip side, I learn to cherish each and every day more these days. I often stop and pause to look at Carter and Katherine, give them my undivided attention even if it's just for a few mins daily. I did this before but not often enough. I love their ages. They still think we are cool and enjoy spending time with us so I'm going to try to maximize it while I can!