Be Vigilant!

When My was diagnosed with breast cancer and learned that she had the BRCA gene, her doctor strongly encouraged my siblings and I to also get tested. Lynne and I opted to go together to get our results. I remember my husband, Ryan, saying: “Thank god you guys were both negative. That would have been really hard and awkward if one of you was negative, and the other was positive.”  The thought had never even occurred to me. Of course we would go together. Regardless of what the outcomes were that day, I would always want my sister there with me.

We were both very excited learning our good news. It felt like we had really beat the odds. Van had already been tested and was negative. Since my dad was a carrier, we each had a 50% chance likelihood of having the gene. My friend Michelle, a super smart actuary, told me the there was a 12.5% chance that we’d all be negative, so I felt pretty lucky that we had dodged that bullet.

After hearing we were negative, I remember asking the doctor: “so we won’t get breast cancer??” and I vividly remember her saying “well I can’t guarantee that, but your chances are the same as everyone else.” In my mind, and maybe I was being naive and just on the high of learning the good news, it meant Lynne and I didn’t have to worry about getting breast cancer – we were negative.

So when we learned that Lynne had breast cancer, in addition to all of the other horrible emotions, it was also very confusing. It made sense (even though it was very unfair) that My had it; she had the gene. But Lynne? She was supposed to be okay.

But here we are.

I've had a lot of guilt since I learned that Lynne had breast cancer that I didn't know how to support her or be there for her, so I was so glad that I was able to finally make it to a treatment. When I got to the hospital, the first thing she did was give me some Similac coupons that she picked up for me. I have two little ones under the age of two, and on most days I struggle between getting an extra five minutes of sleep or washing my hair before going to work. And here Lynne was… taking care of her two little kids, scheduling vacations and weekend activities, working, battling cancer, and still having the time to look for deals for me. Lynne, I am in awe at how you do it all. I hope you and Mike know that Ryan and I are always there for you if you guys need anything.

It was the first time I saw Lynne completely without any hair, and maybe I'm a bit biased, but I think she rocked it!! She looked so good!! She looked confident and as My calls her, bada$$.

I was very impressed by the hospital, and everyone I met that day. The facilities were very clean and modern, the nurses and staff members were all so welcoming and everyone knew her name, her doctor who she wasn’t even scheduled to meet with even stopped by during her treatment to check in on her. It made me feel good to know that my sister was in good hands.

Lynne’s treatment went well. She was even able to nap a bit (and I took full advantage of that!) She shared that she hadn’t been sleeping well, so I was glad that she was able to rest for a bit.

At one point during her treatment, I went to the restroom. Next door to Lynne’s room was an older woman who was also getting treatment. She was alone, and it made me so sad that she didn’t have anyone there with her. Everyone should have a chemo buddy.

After treatment, we went to lunch and to pick up the kids from camp and school. When I went into Katherine’s preschool class, a little girl in Katherine’s class said, “why does Katherine’s mommy have hair today?” After telling her that I was their aunt, my immediate reaction was to look at Katherine and Carter to make sure they were okay. They were fine, another reminder that kids are more resilient than we think, and that they will be okay.   

Back at the house, I had SO much fun spending time with the kids.  We spent most of our time making emojis out of construction paper. We laughed when Carter made the poop one; Katherine went the more traditional route and made a heart and unicorn. At one point, Carter pulled up the face emoji with the medical mask and asked if I could help him make it for his mom. When we finished making it, he wrote “hope you feel better mommy” on it. He's just the sweetest, and moments like this make me feel like he'll be stronger and more compassionate because of going through this.

I’ll end by saying, please be vigilant about checking for breast cancer. This is something I need to be reminded of myself. Do self-exams at least once a month. Both of my sisters caught their breast cancer on their own. Lynne had just been to her doctor in the winter and they didn’t find anything. She was told that she could do annual mammograms going forward. I hate thinking about what would have happened if she didn't find it on her own. I have a mammogram scheduled next month!